Preparing a toddler for a new baby can begin with a few concrete conversations and a familiar plan for their own day. Who will look after them? Which book will you still read together? What can they do when they want your attention? Those details give you something useful to practice before the baby arrives.
The aim is not to produce a perfectly enthusiastic big sibling. You are making space for an older child’s questions and interests while the family adjusts. Here is a practical plan you can adapt for toddlers and preschoolers, with a free activity pack and an optional gift idea for children aged three and up.
Start with a story you can read together
Our free 10-page Big Sibling Preparation & Activity Pack includes the original story Room for Both of Us, family drawing pages, an optional helper menu, and a one-to-one time planner. It is designed for parent-guided use around ages 2–5.
Open the free big sibling activity packExplain what a newborn can actually do
Keep the first conversation short. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends honest expectations: newborns cry, need attention, and will not be ready to play like an older child right away. Reassure your child that your love for them continues. Read more in the AAP guide to preparing older siblings.
Try this wording, adjusted for your family: “Our baby will need grown-ups to do lots of things. You can ask questions, watch with me, or choose your own activity. You still get to be you.”
Let your child steer the next minute. If they ask where the baby will sit, answer that. If they return to their toy truck, you can revisit the subject another day. Keep a small note of their questions so both caregivers can use the same clear answers.
Make the caregiver plan visible
Ireland’s Health Service Executive suggests telling children who will look after them and where when a parent goes to have the baby. It also recommends familiar routines and time together as the family adjusts. See its guidance on preparing older children.
Turn your own arrangements into a simple three-part drawing:
- Who: Draw or name the grown-up your child will be with.
- Where: Show the home or familiar place where they will spend time.
- What: Add one known activity, such as breakfast or reading their usual book.
Avoid promising an exact return time you cannot know. Write the adult contact and backup arrangements on a separate private sheet. The child’s picture can stay simple, while the grown-ups keep the practical details together.
Build a small big sibling story basket
Choose a picture book, one familiar toy that suits your child’s age, and a family drawing page from the activity pack. Put the basket in the older child’s play area and try it together before the birth. It should be a place to find something enjoyable, with an adult available to supervise and join in.
For a child aged three years or older, the Ocean Blue Whale Plush — 25 cm is an optional story companion. The product has embroidered facial details, a plush outer with fiber fill, and no powered features. Invite your child to name the whale and choose its next adventure. It can be their character, with stories that have nothing to do with babies.
A gift is optional; a favorite toy you already own works too. Follow the toy’s age label, inspect it for damage, and keep older children’s play items away from the baby. Plush toys belong outside infant sleep spaces, as explained in the NIH safe sleep guidance.
Try three short activities from the pack
1. Draw a page called “Things I like”
Let your child draw, point, or dictate while you write. Include their favorite song, snack, person, or game. Keep this page for a caregiver or visitor who wants an easy way to start a conversation about the older child.
2. Make a story choice
Read Room for Both of Us together. Then ask your child to choose what a character might do next: draw, read, or ask a grown-up for company. They can answer with a gesture instead of words. You do not need to finish every page in one sitting.
3. Choose one invitation to help
Use the pack’s helper menu to offer a small task, such as choosing a song or bringing an adult a clean diaper. Accept “no.” HSE guidance supports offering involvement without forcing it. Grown-ups remain responsible for the baby; the older child is never assigned feeding, carrying, bathing, or supervision.
Put time together on the grown-ups’ plan
The AAP recommends setting aside individual time with the older child and involving relatives or friends in giving them attention. Choose an activity you can realistically repeat: one book after breakfast, a short drawing session, or a familiar game.
Make the plan specific enough for another adult to help: “After the afternoon snack, Sam chooses a book with Dad.” Keep a second option ready if the day changes. The one-to-one planner in the free pack gives you a place to write both.
Give visitors a concrete invitation, too: “Ask about the whale’s name,” or “Would you read the book they chose?” It makes the older child’s interests part of the visit.
Big sibling preparation questions
Do we need to buy a big sibling gift?
No. If you want to give one, choose something suited to the child’s own interests and age. Our Ocean Blue Whale Plush is one option for ages 3+, paired with a book or your own story.
Can a two-year-old use the free pack?
Yes, with a grown-up adapting the activities. Read aloud, offer choices, and do the writing for them. The pack’s suggested age range does not change the separate age recommendation for any toy.
What if our child does not want to help?
Leave the invitation open and offer an activity they enjoy. The helper pages are optional; completing them is not a condition for receiving attention or a gift.
Prepare one small thing today: open the free Big Sibling Preparation & Activity Pack and choose a story or drawing page. For more activities as your family settles in, explore the Maternity Miracles Learning Center.
